Molly Ivins Quotes
Quotations and aphorisms by Molly Ivins:
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
~Molly Ivins
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Old-fashioned anti-immigrant prejudice always brings out some old-fashioned racists.
~Molly Ivins
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So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
~Molly Ivins
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I want to point out, there are a lot of politicians who enjoy the political end of politics, but they're not interested in governance. And then, there are some that are really interested in governance and are just terrible at politics.
~Molly Ivins
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The Internet goes doot-doot-doot - it goes sideways. There's nothing hierarchical about it. And the best thing about it is also the worst thing about it, which is there are no gatekeepers on the Internet. Consequently, there's a whole lot of bad information on the Internet. But I think that sorts itself out over time.
~Molly Ivins
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The reason there is no noblesse oblige about Dubya is because he doesn't admit to himself or anyone else that he owes his entire life to being named George W. Bush. He didn't just get a head start by being his father's son - it remained the single most salient fact about him for most of his life.
~Molly Ivins
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I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part and discuss it only with consenting adults.
~Molly Ivins
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What I've been telling people is that the doctors are gaining on cancer very rapidly. It's almost become a chronic disease, like diabetes - something you can treat. It doesn't go away, and you're not well in the sense of being over it, but you go on and live your life.
~Molly Ivins
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I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar.
~Molly Ivins
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Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented.
~Molly Ivins
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The stakes they play for in politics are paper and money. The chips they play with are your life.
~Molly Ivins
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Keep fighting for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.
~Molly Ivins
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I think provincialism is an endemic characteristic with mankind, I think everybody everywhere is provincial, but it is particularly striking with Texans, and we tend to be very Texcentric.
~Molly Ivins
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All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don't think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it's all marvelous fun.
~Molly Ivins
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As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
~Molly Ivins
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'Get along, go along' is not an inspirational philosophy, and only God knows how much moral cowardice it has covered up over the years. Serve your time, collect your chits, and cash 'em in for your home state? No, I'd say we could ask for more than that from our senators.
~Molly Ivins
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You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.
~Molly Ivins
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As I occasionally survey the pack of sycophantic shih tzus in the Washington press corps, wriggling on their bellies to kiss the feet of those in power, I feel plumb discouraged about the future of journalism.
~Molly Ivins
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Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.
~Molly Ivins
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In all my fantasies, I always assumed I would get married and have six children along the way with the greatest of ease.
~Molly Ivins
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The thing is this: You got to have fun while you're fightin' for freedom, 'cause you don't always win.
~Molly Ivins
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What we call politics now and what most political writers write about is the empathy and the bonding and the word choice and the horse rights, and it has nothing to do with what's really happening to people's lives.
~Molly Ivins
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You look at the large problems that we face - that would be overpopulation, water shortages, global warming and AIDS, I suppose - all of that needs international cooperation to be solved.
~Molly Ivins
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Many a time freedom has been rolled back - and always for the same sorry reason: fear.
~Molly Ivins
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Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.
~Molly Ivins
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I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.
~Molly Ivins
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Satire is a weapon, and it can be quite cruel.
~Molly Ivins
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Even for southerners, Arkansans are amazingly friendly and extend hospitality to all strangers with astonishing openness. You couldn't find a pretension in that state if you hunted from Jonesboro to El Dorado.
~Molly Ivins
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In truth, there is no rational argument for guns in this society. This is no longer a frontier nation in which people hunt their own food. It is a crowded, overwhelmingly urban country in which letting people have access to guns is a continuing disaster.
~Molly Ivins
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The only reason to have a positive mental attitude is that it makes life better. It doesn't cure cancer.
~Molly Ivins
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'The New York Times' is a great newspaper: it is also No Fun.
~Molly Ivins
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The reason I take Rush Limbaugh seriously is not because he's offensive or right-wing, but because he is one of the few people addressing a large group of disaffected people in this country. And despite his frequent denials, Limbaugh does indeed have a somewhat cult-like effect on his ditto heads.
~Molly Ivins
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There's been a lot of experience with torture in history. It doesn't work.
~Molly Ivins
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Should a girl like me, in whom the milk of human kindness flows copiously for everyone, from protein-shy Hottentots to the glandular obese, actually aim a few swift boots at the prone form of Sen. Phil Gramm? Nah. But it's tempting.
~Molly Ivins
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And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
~Molly Ivins
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I don't have any children, so I've decided to claim all the future freedom-fighters and hell-raisers as my kin.
~Molly Ivins
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There is more hooey spread about the Second Amendment. It says quite clearly that guns are for those who form part of a well-regulated militia, i.e., the armed forces including the National Guard. The reasons for keeping them away from everyone else get clearer by the day.
~Molly Ivins
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If you really wanted to settle down the Middle East, if what you wanted was change in the Middle East, it is perfectly obvious that the first step is resolving the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.
~Molly Ivins
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When I was first diagnosed, I went out, as a book person, and got some books on cancer and looked up my version of the disease. It said that I had about a 5 percent chance of survival. I said, 'Gosh, well, it's been a good run.' What I didn't realize is that in the two years since those books were published, things had shifted dramatically.
~Molly Ivins
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I'd worked for the 'Dallas Times Herald' for ten years, and its death was a kick in the gut the like of which I cannot recall ever having experienced.
~Molly Ivins
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I worked through cancer twice. I probably worked through it too much the last time. This time, I found myself saying, 'Well, I don't feel well. I think I'll take the day off.' I think I did that even a little bit more than I needed to.
~Molly Ivins
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It really is possible to disagree with someone's policies without hating them. Grown-ups can do that.
~Molly Ivins
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I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.
~Molly Ivins
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I've said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were 'German dogs.' They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds.
~Molly Ivins
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Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair's-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother?
~Molly Ivins
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If you grew up white before the civil rights movement anywhere in the South, all grown-ups lied. They'd tell you stuff like, 'Don't drink out of the colored fountain, dear, it's dirty.' In the white part of town, the white fountain was always covered with chewing gum and the marks of grubby kids' paws, and the colored fountain was always clean.
~Molly Ivins
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Fourteen-year-old boys are not part of a well-regulated militia. Members of wacky religious cults are not part of a well-regulated militia. Permitting unregulated citizens to have guns is destroying the security of this free state.
~Molly Ivins
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Raise hell - big time. I want y'all to get out there and raise hell about damned near everything. My word, there's a world out there that needs fixing. Get out there and get after it.
~Molly Ivins
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Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather.
~Molly Ivins
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The trouble with blaming powerless people is that although it's not nearly as scary as blaming the powerful, it does miss the point. Poor people do not shut down factories... Poor people didn't decide to use 'contract employees' because they cost less and don't get any benefits.
~Molly Ivins
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We liberals do sometimes forsake our vows of compassion for all mankind.
~Molly Ivins
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Conservatives, in general, are anti-immigrant for the same reasons they have always been anti-immigrant - a proud tradition in our nation of immigrants going back to the days of the Founders, when Ben Franklin thought we were going to be overrun by Germans. But Business likes illegal workers.
~Molly Ivins
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It is the stories we don't get, the ones we miss, pass over, fail to recognize, don't pick up on, that will send us to hell.
~Molly Ivins
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Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced.
~Molly Ivins
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Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse.
~Molly Ivins
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I've always had trouble with male authority figures because my father was such a martinet.
~Molly Ivins
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Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal - fish gotta swim, and hearts gotta bleed.
~Molly Ivins
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It's one thing to recognize that the gap between the rich and everybody else is growing like a cancer; it's another thing to come up with useful solutions.
~Molly Ivins
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I've thought for years that newspapers should all be owned by nonprofits.
~Molly Ivins
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I spent my girlhood as a Clydesdale among thoroughbreds.
~Molly Ivins
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The Federal Reserve system obviously doesn't work anymore - they keep lowering the federal discount rate, and all that happens is that the banks are making a fortune, and the old folks' CDs are getting chewed up.
~Molly Ivins
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One of the things I said was that I had been in great hopes that I would become a better person as a result of confronting my own mortality, but it actually never happened. I didn't become a better person.
~Molly Ivins
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Racists seem obsessed by the idea that illegal workers - the hardest-working, poorest people in America - are somehow getting away with something, sneaking goodies that should be for Americans. You can always avoid this problem by having no social services. This is the refreshing Texas model, and it works a treat.
~Molly Ivins
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I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.
~Molly Ivins
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The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.
~Molly Ivins
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On a personal note: I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I intend to recover. I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done.
~Molly Ivins
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It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.
~Molly Ivins
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The danger of the blogosphere is reading only those you agree with. While there are right-wing blogs that are entertaining freak shows, it's hard to find substantial journalism there.
~Molly Ivins
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I don't think I've decided much in my life. Don't you think life just happens?
~Molly Ivins
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Behind a smoke screen of high-profile female appointees and soothing slogans, George W. Bush is waging war on women.
~Molly Ivins
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I have long argued that no one should be allowed to write opinion without spending years as a reporter - nothing like interviewing all four eyewitnesses to an automobile accident and then trying to write an accurate account of what happened.
~Molly Ivins
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I really do think we're going through a period of concentration of ownership of media, and we're starting to see the effects at the editorial level, and it's all bad. This increased pressure for profits every quarter, smaller news hole, less coverage of important stuff - the extent that it's become one giant infotainment industry.
~Molly Ivins
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One nice thing about the benefit of long experience with la frontera is that we in Texas don't have to run around getting all hysterical about immigrants. The border is porous. When you want cheap labor, you open it up; when you don't, you shut it down. It works to our benefit - it always has.
~Molly Ivins
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I'm sorry to say cancer can kill you, but it doesn't make you a better person.
~Molly Ivins
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Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.
~Molly Ivins
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I have known George W. Bush slightly since we were both in high school, and I studied him closely as governor. He is neither mean nor stupid. What we have here is a man shaped by three intertwining strands of Texas culture, combined with huge blinkers of class. The three Texas themes are religiosity, anti-intellectualism, and machismo.
~Molly Ivins
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I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.
~Molly Ivins
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Rush Limbaugh's pathetic abuse of logic, his absurd pomposity, his relentless self-promotion, his ridiculous ego - now those, friends, are appropriate targets for satire.
~Molly Ivins
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Guns do kill. Unlike cars, that is all they do.
~Molly Ivins
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I am one of those people who are out of touch with their emotions. I tend to treat my emotions like unpleasant relatives - a long-distance call once or twice or year is more than enough. If I got in touch with them, they might come to stay.
~Molly Ivins
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I have always been a left-winger and an outsider. I loved being that. I was perfectly cheerful with that role. Then suddenly, you're one of the talking heads on 'Nightline,' and you think you must have sold out.
~Molly Ivins
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All my life, I've been sort of a professional optimist, full of good cheer about matters political and journalistic. I always thought I'd get older and become an unnaturally cheerful old fart. But it's not happening.
~Molly Ivins
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