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I own a fart CD. It has, I believe, over 100 fart sounds. A lovely variety, from the up-close and personal to the more experimental and dissonant. Some people prefer to listen to Bach when they go to sleep... not me.
~Simon Helberg


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I think working for the audience, for me, is the most fun. It's really a chance for something to work towards. It's where everything kind of comes together, and you have to make it work. You have all these people who are sitting there, wanting to have a good time and wanting to laugh. You really have no choice but to pull it out.
~Simon Helberg


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I try to act with my whole body and, for better or worse, this is the face that's attached to it.
~Simon Helberg


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I wouldn't wear turtlenecks. That I'm not envious of. But who knows? I might sneak out a few things and hope and pray that no one says, 'Hey, didn't you wear that when you were playing an enormous geek on TV?'
~Simon Helberg


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I enjoy spending my spare time with my wife, our cat, and our bird.
~Simon Helberg


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I thought it was going to be a hut in Topanga and Janis Joplin was going to come out, but it's a real doctor... I went to Beverly Hills to meet this midwife; you'd think they'd be in nature.
~Simon Helberg


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Working is a bonus; working on something you love is a bonus, and getting to do it for a long time is the ultimate.
~Simon Helberg


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I'm married, so I tend not to hit on every girl.
~Simon Helberg


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I walked into the wrong examination room. I'm bad enough at facial recognition... I saw more that day than I cared to. Fortunately, I didn't recognize her from that angle, whoever it was, and I didn't ask. I'm off to a rocky start on the road to fatherhood, but I got a free view.
~Simon Helberg


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We're going to do a natural birth. At first she was like, 'We should do it at home,' and I said, 'Look, either way, when you go into labor, I will be checking into a hospital... so if you want to come along, come along.
~Simon Helberg


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I might love dancing more than I should admit. But not in public.
~Simon Helberg


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Well, I think that everybody is kind of a nerd at heart.
~Simon Helberg


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I think that everybody is kind of a nerd at heart.
~Simon Helberg


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My whole life revolved around TV as a kid. I would come home and make sure I finished my homework every night by 8 o'clock, generally so that I could sit down and watch TV from 8 to 10. As a kid, it was 'Family Ties' and 'Roseanne' and 'Growing Pains' and 'Perfect Strangers' and 'Golden Girls.' I mean, I watched everything.
~Simon Helberg


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As actors, we tend to usually have some issues with self-esteem and some need for validation, and it takes awhile for that fear of not having a job to go away.
~Simon Helberg


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Until I was about 16 years old, my dream was to be a musician. I played in rock bands and jazz bands. Then I decided to be an actor and kept the stable career of 'jazz pianist' as my safety net.
~Simon Helberg


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Playing piano well is one thing, but attempting to play at concert level accompanying Meryl Streep while Stephen Frears is filming you in front of hundreds of people is - well - psychotic.
~Simon Helberg


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We all have those dreams of going back in time and seeing what it was like when our parents were younger.
~Simon Helberg


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Actually, when I was young, I believe I met Nicolas Cage. I think I was probably eight, and I remember seeing him at somebody's house - it was an event and he happened to be there. People would ask me if I was his son, because I looked like him at that point, so I do remember feeling some connection and just wanting to say, like, 'Papa!'
~Simon Helberg


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I don't believe I'll be in the new 'Arrested Development' unless they ask me, in which case, okay! That's how easy I am to get.
~Simon Helberg


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I actually struggled through teaching myself to cook because I'm completely ignorant in the kitchen. So I did really macho things like trying to make my own curry. Really hardcore stuff.
~Simon Helberg


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Getting to know where we come from is a really profound way of getting to look at who we are.
~Simon Helberg


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There are those moments where you realize that your parents or your heroes are human and are fallible.
~Simon Helberg


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Simon Helberg quotes

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