Ogden Nash Quotes
Quotations and aphorisms by Ogden Nash:
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
~Ogden Nash
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The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
~Ogden Nash
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If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
~Ogden Nash
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Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?
~Ogden Nash
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I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
~Ogden Nash
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Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
~Ogden Nash
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Women would rather be right than reasonable.
~Ogden Nash
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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
~Ogden Nash
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There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
~Ogden Nash
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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
~Ogden Nash
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I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
~Ogden Nash
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One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
~Ogden Nash
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Too clever is dumb.
~Ogden Nash
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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
~Ogden Nash
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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
~Ogden Nash
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Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
~Ogden Nash
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To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
~Ogden Nash
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
~Ogden Nash
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I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
~Ogden Nash
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
~Ogden Nash
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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
~Ogden Nash
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
~Ogden Nash
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No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.
~Ogden Nash
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People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
~Ogden Nash
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
~Ogden Nash
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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
~Ogden Nash
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The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
~Ogden Nash
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Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
~Ogden Nash
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Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
~Ogden Nash
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Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
~Ogden Nash
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Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
~Ogden Nash
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
~Ogden Nash
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Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
~Ogden Nash
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The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
~Ogden Nash
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
~Ogden Nash
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Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
~Ogden Nash
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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
~Ogden Nash
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
~Ogden Nash
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
~Ogden Nash
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Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
~Ogden Nash
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A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
~Ogden Nash
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