Judy Gold Quotes
Quotations and aphorisms by Judy Gold:
Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy.
~Judy Gold
Link:
In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.'
~Judy Gold
Link:
I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.'
~Judy Gold
Link:
I'm not selfish at all.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player.
~Judy Gold
Link:
There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking.
~Judy Gold
Link:
If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!'
~Judy Gold
Link:
Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh.
~Judy Gold
Link:
It's fun to be someone else.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell.
~Judy Gold
Link:
People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do.
~Judy Gold
Link:
For me, humor is everything!
~Judy Gold
Link:
As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize.
~Judy Gold
Link:
There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Joan Rivers was my hero.
~Judy Gold
Link:
When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews.
~Judy Gold
Link:
The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write.
~Judy Gold
Link:
We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties.
~Judy Gold
Link:
'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage.
~Judy Gold
Link:
When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life.
~Judy Gold
Link:
If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything.
~Judy Gold
Link:
When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.'
~Judy Gold
Link:
Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.
~Judy Gold
Link:
To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I've gotten resistance for my entire career.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power.
~Judy Gold
Link:
The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ.
~Judy Gold
Link:
I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes.
~Judy Gold
Link:
My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience.
~Judy Gold
Link:
When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched.
~Judy Gold
Link:
The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.
~Judy Gold
Link:
Share:
Permalink:
Browse: