Joseph Heller Quotes

Quotations and aphorisms by Joseph Heller:

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#c34a45a6

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#46810b45

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#51cfe189

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#e46a0e5e

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#1b1d10ea

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#baf7ee7a

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#c9b29aa8

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#e075d6d1

Rise above principle and do what's right.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#a6099bbd

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#d68c6be7

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#3f0fe506

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#0d5e2c95

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#0fe802b8

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#55d71c46

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#259fa4f4

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#047bb20f

Every writer I know has trouble writing.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#9c5c1cc9

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#b9c945fa

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#7c9bf29a

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#2e4cb739

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
~Joseph Heller


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/joseph-heller-quotes/#a5d95d48

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