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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
~John Mortimer


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The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt.
~John Mortimer


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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
~John Mortimer


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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
~John Mortimer


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There is always time for failure.
~John Mortimer


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The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed.
~John Mortimer


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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
~John Mortimer


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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
~John Mortimer


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There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
~John Mortimer


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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
~John Mortimer


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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
~John Mortimer


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The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech.
~John Mortimer


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John Mortimer quotes

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