Jay Mohr Quotes

Quotations and aphorisms by Jay Mohr:

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#a6e27d8f

I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#2009b901

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#790a8bd7

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#fb73e8a5

I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#6ab9d9ab

I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#a5606ac5

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#8f0b8ea6

I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#e941537e

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#8a74e183

True Yankees are born, not made.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#67fee845

Marc Maron's podcast success has nothing to do with my podcast success. If I do a quarter of a million downloads, I can show that to an advertiser as a fact, and that's that.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#867c011e

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#7490a6c6

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#bd800f30

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#ae289997

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#862164b5

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#a441dd29

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#2248b8fa

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#a7fc2ca1

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
~Jay Mohr


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jay-mohr-quotes/#97dd3aa4

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