Jack Benny Quotes

Quotations and aphorisms by Jack Benny:

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#1ab6d990

Modesty is my best quality.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#f5d3d896

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#57ede934

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#9a5c40d1

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#877478e5

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#9bbdbb56

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#d2ea7c47

Gags die, humor doesn't.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#9fa66575

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#1743d0fa

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
~Jack Benny


Link:
https://openquotes.github.io/authors/jack-benny-quotes/#f0c7d685

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