Dick Van Dyke Quotes
Quotations and aphorisms by Dick Van Dyke:
Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I cannot live alone.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I went from my mother to my wife. And to this day, I can't bear to be alone.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've been talking about retiring for years. It's my standard answer to the question, 'What are your future plans?' The truth is, I'll always want to do things that are worthwhile or fun.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was born in the Coolidge administration. Can you believe that? So I've seen a lot of politics.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I love to harmonize.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I don't play golf. I have more fun singing and dancing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I worked nightclubs all through my 20s, and I was a teetotaler.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm a very neat person.
~Dick Van Dyke
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No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put me in the business, a guy from my home town, a dear friend who we just lost a couple of months ago.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I think, the 'Van Dyke Show' and 'Mary Poppins' are two of the best periods of my life. I had so much fun, I didn't want it to end.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My father made about $25 a week. We always lived just on the edge.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was the first time we won an Emmy, that the show won an Emmy. That was a big night.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I don't have any children; I have four middle-aged people.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show business. I didn't move in show business circles, particularly, still don't do it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I like 'The Office.' I particularly like the British version with Ricky Gervais. Of course, I liked the 'Seinfeld' show a lot. I thought that was an awfully good show.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was 5 years old when the stock market crashed; I lost everything.
~Dick Van Dyke
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In the best of all worlds, the producers would take some responsibility for the kinds of things they're putting out. Unfortunately, they don't.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The secret to keeping moving is keeping moving.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.
~Dick Van Dyke
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As wonderful as they were, my parents didn't teach me anything about self-discipline, concentration, patience, or focus. If I hadn't had a family myself, I probably never would've done anything. Marriage taught me responsibility.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I get little kids who recognize me from 'Mary Poppins,' and it just delights me because it's our third generation.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I have a beautiful, young wife who sings and dances, so there's a lot of duetting going on at my house.
~Dick Van Dyke
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'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the most fun I ever had and the most creative period of my life.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I wrote a little autobiography about how luck has to do with everything. It's called 'My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business.' A publisher came to me and said, 'Write a book,' so I did. I wanted to call it 'Everybody Else Has Got a Book.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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I have a lot of friends who say that one of the freedoms of being older is you don't care what other people think, which I don't think is right. You care what other people think, but if you're comfortable in your own skin, that doesn't bother you.
~Dick Van Dyke
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So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news; I did everything. I did - played records.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The American people hit the streets and did something that the government wouldn't do: the Civil Rights Act. It didn't go down well with the corporate world.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Every morning I have something to do, I'm better off. It's bad to get up and not have something to do.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I married somebody half my age, and everybody thought I was crazy, but she is just an absolute angel.
~Dick Van Dyke
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You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm kind of proud of being a love child.
~Dick Van Dyke
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We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of the week and we'd our little show. Most of the ad- libbing happened during the week on the show.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm not a loner. I have to have a life partner.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm the Steven Spielberg of Malibu.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The years have been just full of surprises for me, and a lot of fun.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But our main problem is our audience skews a little older than most shows, and I don't think our people can stay up that late. I certainly can't.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The Horny Toad in Cave Creek has great food. When I'm in Arizona, I have at least one meal there. I have a daughter who lives out there, and Dee Dee Wood, who was the choreographer on 'Mary Poppins,' lives out there. I still get out there once in a while, but not in the summer.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Somebody sent me a British magazine listing the 20 worst dialects ever done in movies. I was No. 2, with the worst Cockney accent ever done. No. 1 was Sean Connery, because he uses his Scottish brogue no matter what he's playing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm an old, white-haired guy. If I'm not recognized, I'm treated pretty much like every other elderly. But if people recognize me, it's a whole different thing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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That rule about having to act one's age? I just don't buy it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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It's more in my nature to be optimistic, I think. I'm one of those people who gets up on the right side of the bed in the morning.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've always wanted to learn kick boxing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My memory's not too good.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I played a killer twice. Once on 'Matlock,' on Andy Griffith's show, I got to play the killer.
~Dick Van Dyke
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A lot of actors seem to dislike typecasting these days. The funny thing is, that's a fairly recent development. It used to be that actors wanted to be typecast so audiences could remember them and identify with them.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I love musicals, but I find it's just so deadening. You know, 30 takes, you do a little piece here and a little piece there. There's hours and hours of waiting. And to me, that's as far away from real performance as you can get.
~Dick Van Dyke
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So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Just knowing you don't have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn - and those are all good things.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The thing I'm most proud of is my family, the way they've turned out.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I never even had a bachelorhood: I went straight from my parents' home to a marriage.
~Dick Van Dyke
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A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want to do that kind of thing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I get some budding young comic who'll come up to me and say, 'What was it like to do it in those days?' I try to be as gracious to him as Stan Laurel was to me.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Unfortunately, the spouses of performers have a terrible, terrible life. They get shunted aside, pushed aside, ignored.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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Dick Martin was a good buddy, and he was always a lot of fun to have around.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Rob Petrie is who I really am - in personality and general ineffectiveness.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I have four children and I have seven grandkids.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and then Carl sent me about eight scripts and simply I threw my idea out the window because the writing was just so good.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.
~Dick Van Dyke
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But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to the script.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My favorite unknown movie is 'The Comic.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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My wife didn't like Hollywood or its stars, but she made an exception when, in 1972, we were invited to dinner - cooked by Frank Sinatra.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I never made a good movie.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.
~Dick Van Dyke
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So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it with sex and violence.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I started having kids, I thought, 'I don't want to do anything they can't watch.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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My son Barry, of course, has been on from the beginning. And his son Shane is playing now a med student regularly on the show. And at one point or another, I've had all four of his kids on the show.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third generation for me. And when kids that small recognize me, it really pleases me, very gratifying.
~Dick Van Dyke
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In Bernie Sanders, I see a man saying that the emperor has no clothes while everyone around him insists they see clothes. Whether or not he makes it to the White House, I hope and pray that everyone hears the alarm he is sounding now; it may be the last voice we ever hear.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Divorce is something that I never dreamed would happen to me. But it did.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've always thought if I could pick my interviewer, it'd be Charlie Rose, who I think is the best.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Pandering to the scandal hungry public is a total lack of responsible journalism.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I wanted to be Stan Laurel, then I wanted to be Fred Astaire and then Captain Kangaroo. I actually started out as a radio announcer when I was 17 and never left the business, so that's literally 70 years.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've had a lot of writers, in particular, who said they got into writing because of the 'Van Dyke Show.' They said it looked like fun.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was the class clown, you know, that kind of thing, and I gathered around me a group of guys who also were silly. I was in all the plays and everything. But I don't know, at that time show businesses looked like the moon, you know, it was so far away. I wanted to be a radio announcer.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I can't work with my brother without laughing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Once you're dead, your worries are over.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Television's going, as far as I'm concerned, downhill, and I'm an anachronism.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've won several Emmys, a Tony and a Grammy, so maybe somebody will let me have an Oscar, and then I'll have a full set.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My life has been a magnificent indulgence.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I never had a lot of confidence in myself.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My wife, as proud as she was of me, hated show business for good reasons. There was something about the spouse always being pushed out of the way, shoved aside. She wanted to get away from it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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As for my studies in school, I was a solid student. I was strong in English and Latin, but I got lost anytime the subject included math. I wish I had paid more attention to biology and science in general, subjects that came to interest me as an adult. I could have gotten better marks, but I never took a book home, never did homework.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Emotionally, I'm about 13.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I pay attention to the news. I take the 'New York Times.' I do the Saturday crossword.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Don't worry so much. Most of the things you worry about never end up happening.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Working with my son was like falling off a log. I had so much fun doing it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I never had a lot of drive, but because I had family responsibilities, I had a lot of tenacity - the tenacity of a drowning man.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I did a 'Golden Girls' once, which shot in front of an audience, and that went well. I had a good time. But I need an audience, for comedy at least.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I don't think parents can protect their kids in this media-nut culture.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I asked Fred Astaire once when he was about my age if he still danced, and he said 'Yes, but it hurts now.' That's exactly it. I can still dance, too, but it hurts now!
~Dick Van Dyke
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I didn't even start dancing until I was in my thirties, and it was like flying.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When you're a kid, you lay in the grass and watch the clouds going over, and you literally don't have a thought in your mind. It's purely meditation, and we lose that.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I never wanted to be an actor, and to this day I don't. I can't get a handle on it. An actor wants to become someone else. I am a song-and-dance man, and I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.
~Dick Van Dyke
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There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're denying that they are addicted, say it's stress this, it's this, it's that. But I - it's - I think - I really believe there is a gene. Some people become addicted and others don't.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My maternal grandfather owned a grocery store that also sold kosher meat. He did well.
~Dick Van Dyke
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All of us involved say 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the best five years of our lives. We were like otters at play.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was the worst game show host that ever lived, and I knew it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm really in retirement. My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm not cantankerous.
~Dick Van Dyke
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They did ask me to do 'Dancing With The Stars;' I said I can do one show, but on that show you have to come up with a new number every week, and I told them that I think I'm a little past that stage.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I was a 'Laurel and Hardy' nut. I got to know Laurel at the end of his life, and it was a great thrill for me. He left me his bow tie and derby and told me that if they ever made a movie about him, he'd want me to play him.
~Dick Van Dyke
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When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got the job!' I said, 'Mr. Champion, I can't dance.' He said, 'We'll teach you what you need to know.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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I loved to fall down.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Everyone should dance. And everyone should sing. People say, 'Well, I can't sing.' Everybody can sing. That you do it badly is no reason not to sing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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All that nipping and tucking doesn't make you look younger - only stranger.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.
~Dick Van Dyke
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The first time I met Mary Tyler Moore, I thought she was just beautiful, but I thought she was a little young.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I have four kids, seven grandkids, and four great-grandkids. Maybe I can become a great-great-grandfather if I hang on!
~Dick Van Dyke
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I'm crazy about Judi Dench.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My kids are so much better parent than I was.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I swim, go to the gym, and do a little dancing every day and a little singing.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I sing and dance. That's my job.
~Dick Van Dyke
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One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy.
~Dick Van Dyke
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There are no sure answers, only better questions.
~Dick Van Dyke
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My brother and I laughed a lot as kids. We came up in the middle of the Depression, and neither one of us knew we were poor. We had nothing, but we didn't know it.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've done had them. It was like doing a little play.
~Dick Van Dyke
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It's quite hard to act yourself all the time.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Put me on solid ground and I'll start tapping! At my age they say to keep moving.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Once you get the kids raised and the mortgage paid off and accomplish what you wanted to do in life, there's a great feeling of: 'Hey, I'm free as a bird.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so much. You don't see them anymore.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I wanted to be a radio announcer.
~Dick Van Dyke
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'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' was a movie that I repeatedly turned down. The movie's producer, Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli, known for his tight-fisted control of the James Bond movie franchise, desperately wanted to re-team Julie Andrews and me after the success we'd enjoyed with 'Mary Poppins.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Here's the truth. Your teens and twenties are your Plan A. At 50, you're assessing whether Plan B or Plan C or any of the other plans you hatched actually worked. Your sixties and seventies, they're an improvisation.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl.
~Dick Van Dyke
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There are no more Walt Disneys anymore.
~Dick Van Dyke
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For some reason, as time gets short in life, wasting time escaping through entertainment bothers me.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.
~Dick Van Dyke
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Do you know that I was the anchor on the 'CBS Morning Show?' And my newsman was Walter Cronkite.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I watch 'Al Jazeera.' They have news that you can't find anywhere else. They do great documentaries, too.
~Dick Van Dyke
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No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that.
~Dick Van Dyke
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I've always been a bit of an orphan, because actors say, 'Well, he's more of a dancer.' And dancers say, 'No. He's really a singer.' And singers say, 'No. He's an actor.'
~Dick Van Dyke
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