hamburger menuopenquotes logo

Quotations and aphorisms by :

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Find Dick Gregory on Ebay!

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

It's cool to be healthy.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Find Dick Gregory on Ebay!

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Find Dick Gregory on Ebay!

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.'
~Dick Gregory


Link:

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'
~Dick Gregory


Link:

My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
~Dick Gregory


Link:

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
~Dick Gregory


Link:

 

Dick Gregory quotes

Find Dick Gregory on Ebay!

 

Share:

twitter share icongoogle+ share iconfacebook share icontumblr share icon

stumbleupon share iconreddit share iconlinkedin share iconflipboard share icon

vkontakte share iconwhatsapp share iconemail share iconpinterest share icon

Permalink:

 

Browse:

Random author

Authors