Bernie Mac Quotes
Quotations and aphorisms by Bernie Mac:
When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
~Bernie Mac
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When you're offstage, that's the footprint. That's the man God's gonna judge.
~Bernie Mac
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We're so politically correct; we take things so seriously.
~Bernie Mac
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Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.
~Bernie Mac
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My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that - a stern enforcer.
~Bernie Mac
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Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
~Bernie Mac
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Comedy has been so good to me.
~Bernie Mac
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I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn't changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.
~Bernie Mac
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I love my daughter, but there's a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?
~Bernie Mac
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I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.
~Bernie Mac
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I've introduced myself with comedy, and once you've introduced yourself as something, that's where people keep you. That's where people like to hold you.
~Bernie Mac
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I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, 'I'm like you - I'm frustrated, I'm not an expert, I don't have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I'm selfish too.'
~Bernie Mac
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I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.
~Bernie Mac
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I came from a place where there wasn't a lot of joy.
~Bernie Mac
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Like a lot of black people, I grew up straight po'. Wasn't no question about whether we was po', either. If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was look in our refrigerator.
~Bernie Mac
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It's a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.
~Bernie Mac
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My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that's what makes my comedy different.
~Bernie Mac
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Bernie Mac is talented!
~Bernie Mac
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As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
~Bernie Mac
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I was a street performer for two years.
~Bernie Mac
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I've never been no superficial cat.
~Bernie Mac
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I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
~Bernie Mac
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It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'
~Bernie Mac
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Every time you see a black romance, it's over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
~Bernie Mac
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The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
~Bernie Mac
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The two sides of Bernie - that's a quiet weapon that I have.
~Bernie Mac
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Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
~Bernie Mac
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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.
~Bernie Mac
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Black audiences are hard. They always think they're better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.
~Bernie Mac
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I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.
~Bernie Mac
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If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything else.
~Bernie Mac
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I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
~Bernie Mac
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I can't build myself by beating somebody down.
~Bernie Mac
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Bernie Mac is relentless. That's one thing I like about him. He's not PC. He doesn't care what you think. He's going out there to please that audience.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm so black, I leave fingerprints on coal.
~Bernie Mac
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Bernie Mac is happy.
~Bernie Mac
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I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.
~Bernie Mac
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I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
~Bernie Mac
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I have so much respect for what's funny.
~Bernie Mac
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I've always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there's people used to get mad at me because I didn't hang out and things like that. I've never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I've never been posse, and all that. I'm a quiet storm.
~Bernie Mac
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My name is Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, but people know me as Bernie Mac. My mama, God rest her soul - she used to call me Beanie. Used to say, 'Don't you worry about Beanie. Beanie gonna be just fine. Beanie gonna surprise everyone.'
~Bernie Mac
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I'm a big fan of TV.
~Bernie Mac
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I can act. I've been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don't nobody owe you nothing. You've go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don't go from M to Z.
~Bernie Mac
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I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It's still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
~Bernie Mac
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When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
~Bernie Mac
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I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.
~Bernie Mac
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I love who I am. I love what I've become.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
~Bernie Mac
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
~Bernie Mac
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You're never going to see me playing a buffoon.
~Bernie Mac
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The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
~Bernie Mac
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I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.
~Bernie Mac
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People like rumors. They're going to say things like, 'You was at the club with Lil' Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.' You can't get upset. You've got to keep hope alive.
~Bernie Mac
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Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.
~Bernie Mac
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You don't see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can't play the game. I can't - my tolerance - I know I'm getting old; I'll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I'm getting old? 'Cause my tolerance level is low.
~Bernie Mac
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My girlfriend Rhonda, who's now my wife, I graduated from high school, she got pregnant. My grandfather said, 'You've got to do the right thing.'
~Bernie Mac
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I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy - Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley - who gets no credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I loved them all, and I used to just take a page out of all of them.
~Bernie Mac
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I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.
~Bernie Mac
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I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.
~Bernie Mac
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Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.
~Bernie Mac
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I was good at keeping my mother from crying.
~Bernie Mac
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I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
~Bernie Mac
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I've been in training for stardom.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
~Bernie Mac
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You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
~Bernie Mac
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I don't ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
~Bernie Mac
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You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.
~Bernie Mac
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Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
~Bernie Mac
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I think a lot of TV insults the audience.
~Bernie Mac
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When I started in the clubs, I had to work places where didn't nobody else want to work. I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.
~Bernie Mac
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Fear is not one of my attributes.
~Bernie Mac
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I know doing movies is where I need to be. That's where my audience wants to see me.
~Bernie Mac
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That's the whole key to anything: Don't be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail.
~Bernie Mac
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You can't be a doctor if you don't know the entire parts of the body.
~Bernie Mac
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I don't think the people wanna see me play Clyde Johnson the architect.
~Bernie Mac
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Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? 'Cause he had problems.
~Bernie Mac
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I want to have fun. Life ain't no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I'm a comedian; I ain't no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
~Bernie Mac
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Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.
~Bernie Mac
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My daughter was a beautiful child.
~Bernie Mac
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My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.
~Bernie Mac
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I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
~Bernie Mac
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I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question.
~Bernie Mac
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My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.
~Bernie Mac
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There's no success story. Everybody's got a ghetto story. You always want to make it bigger than what it is.
~Bernie Mac
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